"Am I Blue?" by Bruce Coville

Bruce Coville's short story, "Am I Blue?" teaches his readers that courage can really change your life, and if you loose your courage, you can get sucked into society.  The protagonist, Vince, the antagonist, and other supporting characters, such as Butch and the congressman, show this through their lives.

Butch Carrigan didn't have the courage to stand up for himself and share his real life with the world.  "'You little fruit,' he snarled.  'I'll teach you to look at me!' A moment or two later he had taught me my lesson.  I was still lying facedown in the puddle into which Butch had slammed me as the culminating exercise of my learning experience..." (pg. 3) This excerpt from the story shows that Bruce was one of the people in society that took it upon themselves to harm others for their personality.  This shows already that he has taken form to the outside environment, but it continues later in the story when the reader learns that Butch is in fact gay himself.  Knowing that it isn't just Butch being a bully, but he actually is just trying to take his feelings out on others shows that he truly is cowardice and in no form courageous.  Because Butch doesn't have courage to stand up for himself and show the world who he actually is, he has to live his life pretending, and can never truly be free in his own personality.

Another character that shows the same type of cowardice is a congressman on the news.  He had made some remarks in an interview about "the great crime of homosexuality" and "the gay threat to American youth." (pg. 14) When everyone who was gay turned blue toward the end of the book, however, he himself was blue.  That is another  example of hiding behind cruelty to save your own image.  When he couldn't open up, he hurt others, just like Butch had, but this time with words rather than physically.  He repressed who he was, and gave in to the standards of America.

The main character and protagonist, Vince, started out uncertain, but showed his courage by the end of the story.  He himself had become aware of the multitudes of gay people in our lives from his fairy godfather.  "I opened my eyes and gasped.  About a third of the people in the cafe---including the guy Melvin had winked at---were blue." (pg. 11-12) This section of the story is when Vince himself had "gaydar."  Once Vince is able to witness this though, he decides to take a stand for human kind as a whole. From his fairy godfather, he uses one of his three wishes and wishes for, "gay fantasy number three, coast to coast." (pg. 14) Because Vince made people notice how many people were actually gay and just covered their inside, it was okay for many people to come out.  Vince showed his courage by introducing a time of openness in the story.

Vince's courage brought him to a better place, where he could finally accept who he is, or who he might be.  The short story ends with, ... maybe when I meet the girl of my dreams.  Or my Prince Charming.  Whichever." (pg. 16) I think that quote is an excellent way to end the story, showing that everything working throughout his life came to a conclusion of honesty.  Vince had courage, and that changed his life.  It's important to stand up for yourself and make change, so that you can show your feelings, and never be ashamed.